Posts Tagged 'men’s magazines'

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Men’s Health Update

Being that it is Christmas, we here at Climax Your Mind want to share this important article to create more awareness of the “male menopause” phenomenon.

Why You May Suddenly Cheat On Your Wife

by David Maxwell

It happens to a man in his middle 30’s through middle 40’s. He’s happily married, or at least he’s reasonably con­tent with his marriage. His kids are growing up with no more than a normal number of problems. He’s content with his job and its future prospects. He seems to have life licked.

And then–boom! It all blows up. Suddenly he’s pursuing another woman or maybe a whole bunch of other women. Suddenly he’s fed up with his wife, his kids, his whole family environment. Suddenly he finds his job boring, irritating, futureless.

What triggered this explosion? What problems arose so abruptly to trouble him this way? Some medical men have labeled this syndrome the “male meno­pause,” and according to one psychia­trist at least 75 percent of men experi­ence it in one form or another. If you haven’t been through it yet, it’ll be use­ful for you to know something about it before it hits you.

Male Change of Life

The male menopause isn’t nearly as well defined as the female version. Menopause in a woman refers to the time, usually in the late 40’s or early 50’s, when her ovaries stop producing eggs and she stops menstruating. Other physical changes take place at the same time, and physical malaise can result.

The male menopause isn’t signaled by specific and obvious physical changes. By no means do all medical men agree that it is a de­finable syndrome or that “menopause” is the right word for it. “The male menopause isn’t really a distinct entity,” says Dr. John Lattimer, chairman of the Department of Urology at the Columbia University College of Physi­cians and Surgeons. “It is not at all parallel to what we see in women. There do seem to be some minor physical changes that take place in a man as he approaches middle age: a slight diminution in the amount of sperm, a slightly longer time to reach orgasm, and of course a decline in general en­ergy. But basically the male meno­pause, if it exists at all, is a social and emotional problem, not an endrocrin­ological one.”

The Wenching Syndrome

Yet so many men go through the “menopause” symptoms-the sudden collapse of family contentment, the wenching, the job dissatisfactions-that some highly respected medical scholars have studied the symptoms as a distinct syndrome. Probably the most famous was Dr. Edmund Bergler, a New York psychiatrist who, before his death eight years ago, specialized in problems of the over-30 male. One of his leading disciples today is psycho­analyst Dr. Roger Bernhardt.

Bernhardt, like Bergler, believes the syndrome is mainly psychological in origin. “The kickoff,” he says, “is the feeling and knowledge of one’s own aging. At a certain age which differs from man to man, this can result in a kind of panic. That’s when the trouble starts.”

The panic comes on rather suddenly. As one doctor describes it, it is “a feel­ing of last chances.”

The Final Fling?

Last chances to do what? Most often a last chance to have a big fling sex­ually. The man knows he’s aging, isn’t as attractive to girls as he once was. Soon, he feels, he won’t attract the other sex at all. So he goes out des­perately to take one last big bite out of life.

Or he may suddenly think he is about to lose a “last chance” to achieve the career ambitions of his youth. Not un­reasonably, he feels that he must show some evidence of a fast career climb by the time he reaches his early or middle 40’s; otherwise no employer will ever again think of him in terms of big jobs. He panics because now, at 35, he isn’t holding down the plush executive post he predicted for himself at 25.

Or, less reasonably, he may simply be overwhelmed by nostalgia for the carefree days of his youth. A lot of re­sponsibilities have been loaded on him since he was 21: family, mortgage, grocery bills. He sees that he is trapped: the responsibilities won’t ever ease and may get worse. So he revolts.

Dr. Wardell Pomeroy, a New York psychotherapist who formerly worked with the Kinsey Institute, observes that the menopause symptoms are seldom very marked in a man who has pre­pared himself in advance for his own aging. “The man whose aging takes him by surprise is the man who can get into trouble.”

Fear of Impotence

As a man gets into his late 30’s and 40’s, for example, he fatigues more quickly than a younger man. He may also carry more business responsibili­ties, and having more money he may drink more. A night may come when all these factors combine to prevent him from performing sexually. The sudden failure takes him by surprise. It’s a normal, occasional occurrence in the life of any aging man, but he doesn’t realize this. “The man is now over­whelmed by fear,” says Doctor Pom­eroy. “He thinks his sex life is coming to an end.” And so he goes out and chases women in the belief that they’re the last few he’ll ever have.

Most doctors agree with Doctor Pomeroy that the best way to avoid this unhappy and restless period is to come to terms with your ongoing aging process. “Expect yourself to age,” says Dr. Martin Berzin, a psychiatrist who teaches at Harvard University. At the same time, he says, don’t exaggerate the problems that you believe aging will bring: “A healthy person can per­form sexually until he dies.”

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